Parenting is one of the challenging jobs that require full attention and care. Whether you are a new parent or have previous experience with parenting, yet, the happening is unique and different every time you raise a child. But do you know you might slip in to certain negative parenting styles if you are not aware of them. Let’s talk about 10 negative parenting styles to be completely avoided.
Parenting isn’t restricted to a single thing but is a blend of many actions. While the approach to raising a child is different for everyone, there are certain similarities and differences which can be observed among all. Some focus on more lenient ways to deal with kids whereas others accumulate stricter methods.
However, while practicing such methods, parents either become too authoritarian or just the opposite. These ways and conducts can have a negative impact on the child’s overall growth. At times, bad parenting can harm a child’s consciousness deeply which later on, affects their adulthood.
Usually, parents indulge in such practices unintentionally, they are mostly not aware of their behavior and think of it as normal conduct. Yet, there are parents who practice such behavior intentionally, largely because their parents have treated them the same way during their childhood. For example parents believe in providing things and services that they as a child always craved. This kind of behavior projection can damage the spirit of a child.
Through this article, we will be discussing some of the negative parenting styles that need to be addressed and avoided. If you are new to parenting or being embracing it now for quite some time, then don’t forget to read it till last for some eye-opening information.
You can also check where you stand by understanding the issues that often go unnoticed.
Before we jump to the styles of parenting, it is important to understand what is negative parenting style.
What is a Negative Parenting Style?
It is the series of actions practiced together that form the negative style of parenting. Bad parenting or negative parenting style is any kind of action that can harm the mental well-being of a child by exposing them to destructive situations and behaviors. There are certain extremities that have been observed under such circumstances which lead to physical abuse and emotional abuse. These are the extreme cases that can severely damage the conscience of the child. Being exposed to such things at a tender age can influence the thought process and interfere with the psychological nature of the kid.
Apart from this, there are certain other patterns that come under bad parenting. Such as most parents while dealing with their personal issues, forget about their children and cast their personal issues onto the child, burdening children with unnecessary problems. This leaves the child confused and makes them feel low about themselves, lowering their self-esteem and confidence. Read our next section, where we have discussed 10 styles of parenting that need to be avoided.
10 Negative Parenting Styles to be Avoided by Parents
Every parent wants their child to be safe and secure, hence, they make sure to protect them at any cost. Sometimes they would even take extreme steps to defend the kids from any danger. This to a certain extent is fine, but when crossing the limit can affect the child’s mental state by making them fearful of conducting new activities. They would become afraid of taking risks for things that are new to them like making friends or participating in a contest.
Comparing Them with Other Kids
Most parents believe that their child’s personality can be enhanced by giving them examples of another kid, especially a more accomplished child. But, this does more harm than good. A child can easily lose his identity by constantly working to be like someone else. At times, it can leave a child with life-changing questions like whether he is good at anything or not. Hence, parents need to change their approach to dealing with kids, remember healthy competition is okay but comparison can damage the child’s personality permanently.
Little or Too Much Discipline
Discipline is something that is something personal to everyone. Some practice it diligently whereas some refuse to abide by set rules. However, for kids, it could be their personal to-do list. Younger children tend to rely on parents to understand their usual daily happenings, more like a guiding calendar. But, when they are left on their own, they lose a track of time, and they can even indulge in destructive behaviors.
According to Dr. Gulotta, Jaclyn Gulotta, Ph.D., LMHC, -“When parents do not have rules or set limits, the risks include negative behavior, temper tantrums, hostility, defiance, and attention-seeking behaviors.”
She further added that “This impacts kids both short- and long-term in how they learn to respond to situations. In the short term, children may overstep boundaries and have little to no respect for their parents. In the long-term, children may feel they are entitled and expect to get what they want even with poor behavior.”
A kid’s consciousness is clear as a whiteboard, it is the external environment, people, entertainment sources, etc., that fills it. Whenever a child makes a mistake, the immediate reaction of a parent is to correct them or scold them and while doing so, parents neglect their surroundings. Scolding or correcting them publicly may lower their confidence and self-esteem. It can even give birth to the feeling of shame in kids which further makes them feel low about themselves. So, next time when you want to correct your child, do it in a private setting.
Not Trusting a Child
Trust is one of the most important things that can build or destroy a relationship. Similarly, the parents – child relationship too relies on trust and faith. A child feels relieved when trusted by their parents, and when not trusted can make them doubtful about the relationship.
Usually, parents instruct their kids to do things in a certain way perhaps they feel their child will make a mistake. This depicts the lack of trust from the parents’ end and makes the kid doubtful of his choices and decisions. Kids who are exposed to such behavior often face trouble in making decisions at the later stages of their life.
Not Spending Enough Time or Getting Over-Involved
A child’s world revolves around the parents as they are the immediate people he/she is exposed to. Hence, they want their focus and attention all the time. Well, it is not always possible to spend time with them but, as a parent, one should always make their child feel heard and important.
When kids don’t get their parent’s attention, they take extreme actions to capture their focus for example – they may shout, or create havoc in the house. Likewise, if paying little attention is harmful then, getting over-involved in your child’s life is considered destructive as it may hinder their development by not giving them proper space to learn and grow.
Ignoring a Child’s Concern
Peer pressure is something that every child has to deal with at some point in their life. The way of dealing with such issues is different for every child, some may take it as a challenge whereas some end up suffering. Oftentimes, parents take such matters lightly and consider it as a way of a child’s development.
These concerns can severely interfere with the child’s personality by instilling negative thoughts in them. Sometimes, they may take out their frustrations on other things or even people. These anger issues can take serious forms during the adolescent years.
Not Appreciating Them
Who doesn’t like when appreciated or rewarded? We all do, isn’t it? In the same manner, a child always seeks their parents’ validation, and whenever they do something new they want to be appreciated. But, sometimes parents don’t pay attention to this aspect of a child’s development and leave a child wondering if they are doing something wrong. This can affect the child’s growth and development in the long run and make it difficult for them to value themselves.
Blaming Them for Everything
Mistakes are a necessary part of development, having said that scolding or blaming a child for everything may make them doubt their capabilities. It also makes them feel inferior about themselves.
Being Too Strict
Being too strict is another thing that lowers a child’s morale. As much as it is important to appreciate them it is also necessary to be flexible with them. Telling them always what to do and not to do, lowers their learning skills. Hence, at times, a child should be left free.
A child easily captures what he is exposed to, hence, it becomes the utmost responsibility of the parents to provide their children with a healthy environment.
Parenting is a continuous process of discovering and learning which sometimes can be comprehended by watching others. Yet, it is a unique experience that needs to be felt and enjoyed by parents individually. Furthermore, parents need to do timely inception of their approach in dealing with kids.
It is vital to establish an understanding with kids to give them proper habitat to develop and grow which is right for their mental and physical state. By making a few changes in the strategy, parents can make their child’s life both healthy and happy.